Word Vomit
A collection of my recent realizations.
Life has been pretty hectic for me lately which means my mind was all over the place. Work took over my weekdays, during weekends I tried to catch up on sleep and did any errands I needed to do or I met up with some of my friends. After catching up with a close friend a few days ago, our conversation left me feeling very introspective.. in the shower, of all places. Nevertheless, I’m taking this opportunity to spill everything I’ve learned over the last few days from the three most important people in my life.
● I live for conversations that stimulate my mind — those that force me to think outside the box. Conversations where I can learn from. And that is exactly what my conversations are with bubba for me. We rarely talk since we’re both so busy, but we treasure the moments where we get to catch up. He listened to my endless relationship problems and offered unbiased advice. There were also non-stop compliments which I never really recognized about myself. He said one thing he liked about me was my constant drive to learn. Even though I’ve accomplished so many things academically, I’m still curious about the world around me so I’m always asking questions. This is probably one of the few compliments I’ve received in this lifetime that will always stick with me. We talked about how important it is to maintain one’s individuality in a relationship: we both agreed that being too similar with your partner can become a hindrance to personal growth. We believe it’s more important to have differences — to both offer and bring something different to the table in order to learn from each other. We’re not saying it’s bad to have similarities, but as relationships start to get deeper it’s imperative to not lose focus on your personal growth. I also learned from bubba how to turn negative topics into positive ones without the other person noticing it. We share so many things in common, but we also bring a variety of wisdom and insights to our relationship: our love for writing, reading, and learning. In short, our conversations always leave me feeling inspired and wanting to learn more. It’s so important to at least have one person in your life like this—someone who welcomes all thoughts and opinions without judgment and will correct you when you’re wrong without sugarcoating anything. He’s basically the Mikael to my Megan. I am so grateful for this one of a kind relationship that we have. I will always cherish this wonderful human being. ♡
● My romantic relationship was tested within the last few months. With added family issues and work stress, I shut down like I always do when my life just turns into a hot mess. Two months apart and I can say it was very much needed for the both of us. A break from someone will make you realize one of two things: how much you truly care about them or how much peace you have without them. For me, it was the former. After some deep thought, I realized he will always be the one for me. We talked things out and now our relationship can be separated into three different seasons: season 1 was high school, season 2 was 2019 up until the break we had, and season 3 is now. Season 2 was the honeymoon phase of our relationship and that lasted us more than a year. We saw each other’s different sides and we helped each other unlearn the toxic things we thought were good before that we did in our previous relationships. We made a good team. We still do. That phase of our relationship was what we missed out on during our high school years (thanks babe, for bringing this up). I can describe that as us treating each other like we were still in high school but being adults at the same time. After our brief separation, the pressure of adulthood was upon us and I think it was the elephant in the room from season 2 that was never brought up, which then lead eventually to our breakup. After getting back together, we experienced a rough patch that was so hard for me to deal with and I’m so thankful for one of my closest friends for keeping me in the right headspace, who reminded me to not make hasty decisions while I’m hurt. We still have so much to work on individually and as a couple, but all I can promise you is that I will always be here for you. For better or for worse doesn’t start at marriage, remember? I love you through all your phases. ☽
● To the one who I will always run to for relationship advice, to the one who’s been there done that… you know who you are. :) We hated each other as kids because we were both maldita, but look at us now treating each other like family. I will always treasure our friendship the most. Over the course of the past few days, you taught me that couples have a different level of understanding and forgiveness that only they will be able to understand. Everyone’s couple dynamics are different. What one believes a healthy relationship should be might be different from what another person believes. This also connects to sharing about what happens in between two people. If your partner commits a mistake (we’re all human) and you share it with your family or those close to you, there will be things you might be able to forgive your partner for, but they won’t. It reiterated the importance of privacy to me, working on issues together, and how unnecessary it is to share with everyone. If advice is needed, it’s vital to know who you can trust and get good advice from. Our talk also reminded me of how crucial it is to set boundaries with people and to communicate this clearly so they know their limitations. I know I said this too many times already, but you helped show me a different point of view when my mind was very clouded and set on leaving. Sometimes a different pov is needed to help someone see things from a different perspective. Thank you for believing in us when I didn’t. ♥ Next time, I might be asking you for baby advice haha.
I am so incredibly lucky to have these three people in my life. Anytime I get the chance to, I always tell them that I’m grateful to have them in my life and that I love them. That’s what you do for the people that matter.
